Every morning, my daughter and I drive for 25 minutes to get to the school where I teach and she learns. We start with a short prayer asking Jesus, Mary, and Joseph to protect us and help us serve God better. After that, no music, no audiobooks, just silence.
My daughter typically takes out a book to read.
I pray. Specifically, I pray the rosary.
For whatever reason, I can never complete the entire rosary during our morning drive. If we were in an adoration chapel, 25 minutes would be more than enough time, but when I’m at the steering wheel mentally preparing for my school day, distractions abound, so much so that I typically can just barely finish the third mystery before pulling into the teacher’s parking lot.
For months, this weighed on me. It hurt my scruples not being able to finish something I had started in the spiritual realm, and I felt bad for making my Guardian Angel finish all of those rosaries. As soon as my work-day started, I’d already feel like I had failed at prayer.
It didn’t end there. In fact, it only got worse. I pray Morning and Evening Prayer from the Divine Office as part of my requirements from the Dominican Rule (I’m a Lay Dominican) and there were multiple times when I would either go to bed too exhausted or wake up without time and energy to pray.
No rosary. No Divine Office. No prayers. No spiritual zeal.
So, I did something drastic: I axed the rosary from my prayer life.
Before you get up in arms, know that I love the rosary, I really REALLY do, but as much impact that it has had on my life in the past, I simply cannot allow it to be the foundation of my spiritual life like it once was. It’s powerful, and beautiful, but it isn’t required, and at this point of my life, I simply don’t have the extra time to spare, especially considering the priority I’m to give to the Divine Office.
Christians, especially those attempting to become devout, have a tendency to put too much pressure on themselves to “pray without ceasing.” We think that if our minds and hearts aren’t completely set upon the things of God and His manifestations in our lives, then we run the risk of being overtaken by “the world.” So, we set prayer goals like “I’m going to pray the rosary / read scripture / do a Novena / [add your fav devotion here], etc.” Then, when we fail to achieve those goals, we’re stricken with guilt for not having done all we could have to make it work, exasperating whatever spiritual benefit we might have gained from starting it in the first place.
Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to pray.
Don’t stop praying entirely, but find a balance.
As for me, I’ve lowered my rosary expectations. Every morning on my drive to work, I pray a single mystery. This provides me with enough time to focus on prayer, prepare myself mentally work and, you know, actually drive.
